Part 4: Finding True Faith in the Ruins of Israel
- Kimberly Davis
- May 1, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: 9 hours ago
My Long Journey Home to Judaism: Part 4
Finding True Faith in The Ruins of Israel
It was not long after coming into the church that I started to wear a Jewish Star of David. I could not explain why, but it was something my soul felt it had to do, even while sitting in a church pew.
It was because of this very Jewish Star that coworkers at one of my jobs literally (not figuratively) attempted to murder me. They put bleach in my water, hoping to poison me to death. One of the perpetrators felt guilty enough to tell me not to drink more than what I already had consumed, and then he told me what they had done. The reasoning he gave was, “According to our Christian faith, all Jews must die. It is our duty, so we tried to carry it out by attempting to kill you.”
After this attack, I bled profusely from unspeakable places for about 2 weeks (I could not go to the hospital due to lack of insurance), and my heart went into arrhythmia and would not stop for almost a month straight. I thought to myself, “If I am going to die, then I need to get to the Holy Land and have my questions answered and faith sorted out.”
With very little to my name, I made a tentative itinerary, sleeping arrangements, and travel plans. I would go for the Jewish High Holy Days. Hashem willing, I would stay and study for the full 3 months allotted to Americans visiting Israel. I did not care if I spent every last dime I had to my name, I had to go. Without question, I packed my bags, and went.
First on my list was to visit some of the designated Christian sites throughout Israel to see if any of what I was taught was true. At every site, all I could think was “what have they done?!”
This reaction was visceral. At every site, my soul was heavy. Like the “iron yoke” described my Hashem in the Tanakh. Remnants of the Roman Crusades and the abuses of the Jewish people throughout history were visible, but to my soul, the pain was palpable.
Intermixed with visiting the Christian sites, I also visited sites mentioned in the Tanakh: The City of David, the Western Wall, the Ophel, Be-er Sheva, Jericho, and the Jordan crossing. At each of these sites, Hashem’s glory was both visible and palpable.
Beams of bright light are seen in most of the pictures I took at the places written of in the Tanakh and my soul felt filled with this light as well. Lightness. Joy. Spontaneous singing. And too, spontaneous crying (in happiness) all flooded my entire being at these sites.
The stark contrast was proof enough about the truth: Judaism and following the One True G-d, the G-d of Israel was were my faith belonged. This truth was sealed when talking with an old Jewish grandmother one evening. She asked me why I was in Israel. After telling her I was here to learn and have questions answered about my faith, she asked me to describe my faith.
At that point, I knew my theology was so mixed up with lies and truth, but the Jewish grandmother wanted to hear me out anyway. After describing to her everything I believed, the only thing she could say was,
“My dear, I think you are Jewish!”
She made the suggestion to buy a strictly Hebrew Bible and “just read and see what Hashem has to say.” She said, “I know it will be hard, but as you read do not try to fit anything you are reading into any box of things you’ve been taught before. Do not write any notes. Just read. Listen. And hear with your heart and soul what Hashem has spoken.”
I began this practice while in Israel. I bought a Siddur and just read the prayers and the scriptures contained within. I did not know the proper practice of the daily Jewish prayer life at that time, but it was in the "just reading" that my soul began to be cleansed and find answers to the questions about my faith.
As I traveled through the vast beauty of the Holy Land, however, there was an ominous sense building. One day, after about a month into my trip, I had a day were I just could. not. stop. crying. Shortly thereafter, I found out why.
Am Yisrael Chai!
by Kimberly Davis
Thank you for reading! If you are blessed by this work and would like to help keep the lights on (so to speak), please consider donating using the button below.
HEAR MY FULL STORY:
Comments